Funk is in the air

This weekend was Laurens bachelorette party, which turned out to be much more conservative than I was expecting, so I went to Charleston to hang out with The Funk and his fiancée. The main reason I went down was to catch his gig at a local coffee house, which he plays at regularly. Normally this place isn’t really a happening place, maybe 3 people in the place randomly while Funk plays. He always puts on a good show but I am sure it’s a downer not to have a steady flow of people enjoying your music. Anyway, this time everything was different. Now Funk usually wears his thick black shoes and the subtle smile as mentioned on his blog along with jeans and a button down shirt, this time was no different. We went through the normal procedures of loading the equipment into the coffee house and setting up. In the process, two girls in red dresses and a guy passed us. I am telling you this for later reference. After setting up, Funk came over to the table that his fiancée and I were sitting at and started setting up his tip jar table. For some strange reason we discussed his stickers that he has setting on his table and it was decided that he would give the stickers out for free under the logic that if people randomly stuck them on cars or notebooks it would be free publicity. Funk started playing and within one hour the two girls from before in the red dresses came into the shop. One of them gave Funk a glance as they proceeded to the counter to purchase some drinks. Funks fiancée was facing him so she only saw the glance that was given and she chuckled over it. What she did not see was one of the girls smiling at Funk, biting her bottom lip in anticipation and gyrating to his music. I was impressed, Funk was getting some young chicks into the music. On their way out the other girl stooped down to sign Funks guest book and, according to Funks fiancée, “adjusted” her dress for a better “view” if Funk had taken it. After they left I was laughing as Funk was staring at me with the “What the Fuck was that” stare. Soon after a group of 4 middle aged women came in, and a very cute blonde turned to watch Funk and in turn ended up tripping over a chair. She stumbled, corrected the chair, looked at me as I chuckled at her and laughed along. When the 4 women sat down, they were next to Funks fiancée and myself and directly in front of Funk. As they ogled Funk the cute blonde turned to me and asked if we were with Funk. I said yes, she then asked if Funks fiancée and I were together, which I responded “No, she’s with him” pointing to Funk. This is a fauxpau according to the fiancée, in that statement I surrendered all tips they would have given him. Anyway, she continues talking to me and finds that I too am engaged. I find out that she is a mother of three, and trust me she didn’t look it at ALL! As the conversation closes the 4 women try to convince me to bring Funk out with them to have a pre bachelor bachelor party. They did not bother to include the fiancée, so we can only imagine what would have happened if we somehow ended up with those ladies that night. Following the 4 mothers, a family enters the bar with some older, possibly Junior/Senior HS daughters. They immediately tip Funk and flirt with him. They continue to flirt with him and tip him at least 7 more dollars. In the end, Funk made about 30 bucks plus the initial fees for playing, some new gigs at the coffee house, and a bunch of women on his email list. If he can get a groupie collection he would be set in Charleston. Now if only he could find the “Sex Panther”, cause that would just warrant the behavior that occurred that night.