So, Andy 1 and I have known for a long time that we are, well….unique, with our humor. When we did commute, we actually had a recorder for our hour long trips and conversations. They were pretty funny. Since our separation last year, we have resorted to google chat. Here is one of our more recent conversations, obviously, we need serious help.

me: yeah, now that Apple is staying with AT&T, the Storm is looking more and more attractive
Andy: NO
don’t do it
me: OH OK
Andy: Fran is buying a new phone right now
me: Storm 2 coming out I know
what happened?
Andy: Gus (the dog/puppy/bear) ate her old phone
me: LOL
Andy: She is torn between the HTC FUze (she is att now) or the HTC TouchPro2 (verizon)
me: ok…. and
Andy: her requirement was outlook to go and open any atachment
She ordered the Fuze through walmart, and was told it would be here today, but she called this morning and was told they need 3-5 days
me: oh
Andy: So she went Fran on them
me: ooooh
they see dead people now
Andy: yeah, it got worse when the person refused to patch her through to a supervisor
me: can I get that power in a video game someday?
Like Mortal Kombat
Andy: yeah, it’s coming to Doom
me: OH DAMN YOU WENT FRAN ON HIS ASS!!!!1111
FATALITY
Andy: It’s going to make Wikipedia some day – “Gone Fran”
me: on a level of 1 to Fran….how bad was it
ROFL
Andy: one level above apeshit
me: yes but this one goes to Fran
Andy: but not quite plaid
me: is that worse than Postal
Fuck yeah its worse than Postal
Andy: uhh- yeah
me: Postal is a cute cuddly koala comapred to going Fran
Andy: you chose: be victim of postal, or of Fran
I choose postal
me: oh man, I am laughing as hard as we did at the motivatioonal posters
Andy: I was telling ange about that the other day
flying sharks
me: Fuck the sjarks….flying tanks
oh shit we’re screwed
Andy: its on now
no worries – we have mooseknuckle
me: or OH SHIT….is that a BEAR?!?
Andy: nah, just a kid with a really small head
So the question of the moment for you is: WHEN IS PUNKIN CHUNKIN?
me: dunno….need to find that out
Andy: research and report
Ange wants us to build a cannon
me: sweeeeeet
Andy: I’m thinking
the hell with compressed air
we need instant rocket compression fire
me: I like where you’re going with this
Andy: we’ll need sunglasses
me: hmm
Sent at 11:51 AM on Tuesday
Andy: Why is CNN Money telling me how to survive in Detroit?
Why oh why would I ever need to know that?
It’s not like there is any reason to GO to detroit
let alone try to survive there
It’s like advertising “how to survive in Delaware”
oh wait
Sent at 11:54 AM on Tuesday
me: If you ever feel the need to get shot or stabbed….I guess that really isn’t surviving, unless it’s that you are still alive….
delaware is a rough neigborhood
fuckin Amish
Andy: I know!
all the sex and drugs and furniture making
me: all like “Jebadiah gon’ kick some heathen ass” and stuff
scary mo fo’s
Andy: They tried to get me to join their wagon-gang once, but my horse talked me out of it
it got sketchy after that
me: heard that goes horribly wrong when you try to back out of those offers
Andy: yeah
thank got for ninjas
those men in black were like manna from heaven
the amish never saw them coming
me: I really do think the Amish might be somewhere in the 6th level of Dante’s inferno
if not at least in consideration for an entry into the ever evolving battle between ninja and pirate
Andy: very true
pirates need rum
ninjas need fear
amish need cheese
tough choice
great cage-match
me: true
they would build the table THEN break your back with it
damn…..that’s rough
Andy: Have you ever thought of gathering up all of our chat sessions and then going to publisher with them?
because we have some gold here
me: I was just thinking of publishing this one on the blog
Andy: giving the milk away for free, eh?
me: did we NOT have a tape recorder IN the car with us and nothing came about it
Andy: this is already being saved for posterity my friend – google saves all
me: true
I am going to C/P it anyway
Andy: we’d have to put it out as a CD – like a graphic novel, but with chats and links to what we were chatting about
Andy is typing…

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